Random Thoughts

Strength is not given or lent... it is built

You can lean on a shoulder. You can give your shoulder to be leaned on. But that does not transfer strength. Strength, both physical and emotional, is built through excercise, through activity, through hard work and through pushing past existing limits. Facing weakness on the way is just a part of the process.

You cannot truly appreciate what you have till it is lost

There are plenty of things we are told to be grateful for: sunshine, health, our limbs, our senses and its hard to do. We know we take them for granted. But some things, I bet we don't even know we're taking them for granted because it doesn't even occur to us that its possible to be without these things... like our personality. Its ours right? It doesn't change... we're stuck with it! Even what we consider our personality is not set in stone. Anyone who has done things we would consider 'out of character' might have an idea of what I mean. Allah can give, and Allah can take. Anything. In times of loss, we sometimes forget that can and does also give!

Sometimes losing your way is the best way to find out which path you really want to take

How do you know you're on the right path if you've never seen the alternative(s)? Sometimes we set out on the path. Alhamdulillah sometimes it is the right path - no worries there. But we need to make sure it is! How many people have a passion for business and study Architecture instead because of other pressures? How many people would love to be a singer and wind up a plumber instead? Choosing less than the most suited career is not a sin... but its also unfulfilling and possibly a waste of talent and passion. Waste is haraam ;)

Does Allah not say that he loves the sinner who repents more than the one who does not sin?

We all know that Allah does not encourage sin, but perhaps we might understand that the lessons we learn can be far greater than the mistakes we make and Allah is there with 'open arms' as it were to take us back each time we stray.

Knowing yourself is the first step to any kind of success... yet knowing yourself requires failure

Life is like one of those never ending video games. You battle through each stage to get to the next level knowing that the next level with bring you greater challenges, harder bosses to defeat! When you fail to reach the next level, you learn something... change tactics, change timing, choose a better angle to attack from or take a more defensive stance! You take comfort in knowing that its just a game. No matter how long you play... well it'll end eventually. And probably too soon.

How is life so different? We all progress at different paces, some of us choose a slightly different game. But even at the most frustrating times, we should all know that this life is temporary and there is something greater awaiting us. Sometimes I think the difference is that we invest too much in this life. We put too much pressure on ourselves to achieve something we make ourselves believe HAS to be done. Sometimes we just need to rearrange our priorities, believe in the impossible (which is ACTUALLY possible and we just refuse to believe!) and let go of what we have no control over.

We never know what our limits are till we take ourselves there! I know how good I am at running thanks to good old schooldays and PE lessons: I suck! I am rubbish. I will never live the dream of becoming any kind of athlete. I would never have thought I had any patience... till I spent time with certain people and realised - patience, like strength, is acquired and we usually have more of it within us than we give Allah credit for giving. I would never have realised what a coward I am if I had not been confronted with certain situations I shall not go into :p but my point is, without being pushed to limits, we can never really know how far we are capable of going. Sometimes we have to step away from a goal sooner than we expected and at other times we find we have the potential to go so much further!

Making a pig's ear

First roll out some 100g of golden marzipan...

Nah... forget that. To make a real pig's ear out of things, you don't have to 'do' something, you have to forget to, or ignore doing, things. Miss out on deadlines, fail to acquire necessary information, fail to complete a piece of work, lose touch with good people... yeah, that'll usually do the trick!!

Everyone knows its easier to stay on top of things than dig yourself out from under a mountain of rubbish. Everyone knows its easier to be on a roll than to pick yourself up after a great fall. We all know how it went with Humpty Dumpty... all the king's horses and all the kings men... uh huh! BAD times.... SAD times...

but did anyone ever tell you what to do to get out of a mess?? Cos sure as hell no one told me. They just told me not to get in to a mess in the first place. Helpful... reeeal helpful. Actually it would have been, if I'd taken the advice ;) but in any case I always thought if I found myself in a bad situation, I would be able to figure out the solution. Cos you know, I'm a good problem solver. I can look at a situation objectively, analyse it, etc. What happens when you lose the one skill you always relied on?

The answer is simple. To find someone else with that skill. But I still have a problem. I often find it difficult to ask for help. Not for everything. Somethings I don't mind asking. But some things seem like... like maybe I'm asking too much. So I hold back.

Not thinking

There was a time when I thought it was simply impossible not to think... Thoughts... they just happen right? Cos the brain doesn't switch off while you're alive. But I guess the brain / mind works on 2 levels. We can dim out the conscious mind while the subconscious still works, we can have our blood pumping, our gut squeezing and all the rest of it while we zone out. The body has a system - work in the day, rest at night. Thats the simplified story. Sometimes our brains go into overdrive while we're sleeping and dreaming and so we wake feeling unrested. Sometimes our brains zone out in the day... and at those times, we do very little.

Like today... where is my focus? I'm all dawdle dawdle, slow motion. I'm thinking by the time I dress for the day, it'll be time to put my jim jams back on.

So like I was saying, not thinking properly in the day - that's not how its meant to work! That goes against the whole body system / cycle. So how does it happen? How does the mind decide that's what its going to do - that it's simply going to block things out? Well I'll tell you what. We go through life to a certain stage being told there are problems and solutions. As child we believe that grown ups will deal with the problems, occasionally we believe they ARE the problem. At some point we're hit with an idea... there are problems! but they're not followed with solutions. We have questions, but we can't find answers.

So we come up with the ultimate solution

We tell ourself there IS no problem. We tell ourselves there's nothing to worry about, nothing to think about. It simply isn't there and hey presto! we've learned to block it out. Step 1 accomplished. I'm not entirely sure what the middle steps are but I do know it gets to a point where you're brain is screaming at you to do something but the shouting is so loud, its just too much... so you turn up the volume on something else (the radio, tv, or just start daydreaming) and you ignore it, you find a distraction.

What you also block out though, is the reason why your own brain is shouting at you. As well as all the negativity, there is also an innate part of us that WANTS to succeed, that wants to do well. If you're ignoring it... well you're just choosing to take the wrong path... you're choosing to go downhill because its easier. There's another problem though. Not everyone realises they're taking the easier path, they think they're taking the ONLY one but its simply not true. You have to break momentum (just stop what you're doing and THINK!!) even if it means falling for a moment. Because it gives you a chance to pick yourself up and look around... see where you are and that there is another way forward. Perhaps its just a matter of turning around (!) and choosing a different direction!!

Anyway, no idea if that will make sense to anyone else, especially my completely unoriginal metaphor, but its just my two cents... me sharing a lesson that life has taught me and in case it isn't obvious, I'm still having trouble taking the lesson on board myself. Its hard to apply even when you understand it and THAT is why I'm sharing this... with no one... and everyone ;)